Southern Hospitality

Ellen Howe is looking to rent a shed. She called my house last night and left a message listing her needs. Impressively, she used the word "y'all" three times within a 20 second time frame. Before she hung up she promised to call back in the morning.

Ellen Howe is looking to rent a shed. As promised, Ellen called again this morning. She left another message. Trying to appeal to my business sense, she reminded me that she had referred several people to my shed-renting company in the past, but now she is calling for herself. Ellen is apparently great for business...too bad she has the wrong number.

Ellen Howe is looking to rent a shed. She called again. This time she didn't have to speak to a machine. I answered the phone and listened patiently to her shed needs. Slightly embarrassed for her that I let her carry on without interrupting, I finally said, "Umm, I think you have the wrong number."

Why did I feel the need to not embarrass her? I think she has the wrong number? No--I know she has the wrong number. Southern hospitality at its finest, I suppose.

Perhaps due to my sheepish tone, Ellen Howe--who is looking to rent a shed--asks, "Are you sure I have the wrong number?"

Yes--I'm quite sure.

She then proceeds to call out my phone number and ask me if that is the number she dialed.

Yes--I suppose it is.

She clearly is baffled. She wants to interrogate me further, but decides that will be of no use. "Thanks anyway," she says as she reluctantly hangs up.

Ellen Howe is looking to rent a shed. Another call. I answer, this time wondering if she will recognize my voice.

No--she does not.

She lists her needs once more. Again, I listen patiently, not wanting to seem rude. When she finishes making her shed needs known to me now for the fourth time, I say, "You still have the wrong number."

"Do I really?"

The sarcastic side of me wants to notify Ellen--who is looking to rent a shed--that, shockingly, I did not change my phone number in the last 30 minutes. But, instead, I politely reply, "Yes ma'am."

I wonder if Ellen Howe is still looking to rent a shed?