The Day Target Ruined Halloween

I am apparently the worst mom ever, but I blame this on Target.

You see, I wanted my baybee to be a precious little ladybug for her first Halloween. I purchased a darling little costume at Target and then the morning of Halloween I realized that my darling little lady did not fit into the darling little ladybug costume. Apparently, Target sells these costumes with tags on them that tell mommies and daddies exactly how tall and how heavy the baby can be and still fit in said costume. The only problem is the mommies and daddies must actually read the tag.

No need to fear, I can sew. And by sew, I mean rip two juicy, thigh-sized holes in the bottom of the darn thing!

Fail.

Mega-fail.

You see, the juicy baby thighs fit through the holes, but my baby—she is a plump one.

No need to fear, surely Target still has Halloween costumes!

So, before when I said that I wanted my precious little baybee to be a darling little ladybug for Halloween, I really meant I wanted her to be a plump little pumpkin.

Really I did. Honestly.

This time, I was a smart cookie and I actually read the tag to make sure that my plump little pumpkin would fit into her costume. She would.

Fail.

Mega-fail.

Not. Even. Close.

Desperate to begin creating our family traditions, I called my sister Danika for some advice. My brother-in-law suggested wrapping her in tin foil and calling her leftovers.

GENIUS.

But, Ben would not allow me to do that. Something about child abuse.

So my precious little one did not get to dress up for her first Halloween. I think this entitles me to a Target Gift Card—or more appropriately named, a We-Are-Sorry-We-Robbed-You-And-Your-Family-Of-Precious-Memories Card.

Target, you are on my list.